Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

Maybe you've uttered those words yourself on a road trip, or maybe it's an internal mantra beating as you move along day-by-day.

As someone who likes to set goals and dream big, I want a map and to know when I can expect to "arrive." I want a response to, "Am I almost there?" Perhaps this tendency lies behind BeEmbraced and my chosen coaching profession. We oftentimes impart the strongest support for others in the areas that resonate deepest within us.

Because I want to learn how to be embraced by the journey as I help others along this path too.
"And, like the child who stops asking questions because suddenly the journey itself has become so interesting, we find there's so much to see that we won't worry so much about the 'when.'" -N.T. Wright
Yet, how do we live into this description?

Part of not worrying about the "when" hinges on not worrying about the winning or losing. It's about showing up and appreciating that what is in front of us today is meaningful in the present and is enough for us to be a positive influence.

I just finished Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly (which I highly recommend!), and she sums this up about our culture of never enough:

"...For many of us, our first waking thought of the day is 'I didn't get enough sleep.' The next one is 'I don't have enough time.' ...Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we're already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something... The opposite of 'never enough' isn't abundance or 'more than enough.' The opposite of scarcity is enough, or what I call Wholeheartedness."

At the core of Wholeheartedness is vulnerability and worthiness: "facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough."

If we truly showed up everyday believing that we are enough, would we worry so much about the "when?" If we were excited about our daily opportunity to dare greatly, wouldn't the journey be a daily destination in and of itself?

Since Brene Brown spells this idea out in such a compelling way, let me share her words:

"Daring greatly is not about winning or losing. It's about courage. In a world where scarcity and shame dominate and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It's even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there's a far greater risk of feeling hurt. But as I look back on my own life and what Daring Greatly has meant to me, I can honestly say that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I am standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen."

Let's have the courage to show up, even when we don't know the "when." Maybe nothing grandly significant will come of daring greatly today but maybe one moment of courageous risk will put you on a journey you couldn't have imagined. A journey where you forget to ask, "Am I there yet?"

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