People are more important than change

During one of my runs last week, I passed by one my favorite views of downtown Atlanta, and I stopped to snap a quick picture.

Atlanta skyline through the haze and Fall leaves

As I approach this view on each run, I look forward to seeing the beauty in every season.

Seeing the city skyline and fall trees brought to mind a training that John and I attended last weekend. The training was called Dignity Serves, and it teaches you how to give and receive with dignity, especially in the context of the inner-city.

Throughout the remainder of my run, I meditated on one of the key principles of Dignity Serves: People are more important than change.

We often long for change: "When are the leaves going to change color?" or "When is she ever going to change?" or "When will changes start happening in our city?"

Yet at the same time, we are so resistant to it. We like the comfortable. We live in the status quo. We often don't change until it's too uncomfortable not to.

What do these opposing views mean for my life? What do they mean for yours?

As a resident of Atlanta, it's tempting to give up on change with so many systemic problems that cloud progress. But usually when we give up on change, we give up on people too.

This can also be true for family members. Is loving them more important to you than seeing them change? This doesn't mean that love doesn't call people to change. But you must remember that you are not the one responsible for their change.

And what about for yourself? Just as it's tempting to give up on others changing or on the inner-city being renewed, we can lean toward self-contempt when personal change is slow. Instead, we must remember what our identity is in and who brings the change.

David praised the Lord in the presence of the whole assembly, saying,
“Praise be to you, Lord, the God of our father Israel from everlasting to everlasting.
Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.
Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things.
In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all.
Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.

   

“But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand... I know, my God, that you test the heart and are pleased with integrity. All these things I have given willingly and with honest intent. And now I have seen with joy how willingly your people who are here have given to you. Lord, the God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac and Israel, keep these desires and thoughts in the hearts of your people forever, and keep their hearts loyal to you." 1 Chronicles 29

   

When our primary focus is on the One Who Blesses, we are free to give and receive love. He is the one who will bring the change - in ourselves, in others, and in the city.

How to keep a calendar when you're married

The tradition is to save the top of your wedding cake in the freezer and then celebrate your one-year with a (hopefully un-freezer burnt) slice. Well... almost two years later, John and I finally cut into the cake at the beach over the 4th of July. The top of our cake has been taking up a lot of space in my parents' freezer, so I think they were more than ready for us to finally finish it off!

It looked less than promising...

...especially after knowing what it looked like on our wedding day.

We were nervous to give it a try, but it was surprisingly still tasty!

Not quite as elegant as at our wedding!

Thankfully, as John said: Our marriage has held up a lot better than the cake did!

Recently, one of the things that we've been doing to keep our marriage strong is changing the way that we keep our calendar.

Although schedules are less than romantic, keeping our calendar in a new way has allowed us to keep our marriage adventurous. We are both "J" on Myers-Briggs (i.e. like to plan and schedule a lot), which meant that when we were first married we were setting plans over a month in advance.

Planning so far ahead, however, prevented us from accepting a lot of invitations and hanging out with friends on a whim.

But what really got our attention is when John was sick the first few months of this year. His illness prevented us from keeping a lot of our plans, so when he was well, we found our weeks slammed with one rescheduled commitment after another. This left not a whole lot of downtime or time for date nights.

And as someone who needs a little time alone in order to recharge, I was exhausted.

So we regrouped and came up with a way we could keep our calendar that still allowed us to plan ahead while protecting our down time. Here's our method:

• At the beginning of each month, we sync up our calendars to make sure we're both aware of big events or other happenings that we are scheduled to attend that month (either together or separately).
• Then we go week by week and schedule our nights according to three categories: (1) Night of rest (i.e. time alone together or a date night), (2) Outreach night (time with our neighbors, church community group, new people we want to reach out to, etc.), and (3) Friend night (time with our friends)
• We don't have to set who we'll invite over or what we want to plan, we just ensure that each week has at least each of those categories per week. 
• Then when someone invites us somewhere or we want to have someone over for dinner, we can use our scheduled night for that category.
• We're also not rigid about it, so as long as we have one of those each category per week, we can switch nights around accordingly.

This practice has been helpful for us, so I thought I'd share it in case others could benefit from how to schedule yet still be flexible. Let me know if you have questions and happy planning!

Living for a new day

With the Boston Marathon bombing yesterday and my grandfather's funeral today, I thought it only appropriate to reflect on the grief and confusion that we feel in this world.

Events like the Boston Marathon bring to the forefront the brokenness that we live in and call us to respond. We see neighbors or fellow citizens taking action and putting aside personal needs to generously give their support.

When sad or shocking things happen, we cry because we know the world is not meant to be this way. Yet we respond because we hope.

We hope in community. We hope in restoration. We have an Ultimate Hope.

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"
Matthew 6:10

When we face hardships in life, it's easy to be anxious about the "whys" and "what ifs."

In a recent Tim Keller sermon, he defines "anxiety" as the Greek word meaning "drawn in opposite directions, divided into parts, to go to pieces because pulled apart in different directions." This is the word that Jesus uses to describe Martha when she is busying herself around the house: "You are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary"  (Luke 10:38-42).

Rather than being distracted and pulled in all different directions, our peace and hope should have a sole focus: "one thing is necessary." Our one hope and supreme peace should be focused on God. 

We are able to live in the present, and practice presence, because we have a singular look at the future.

We are living for a new and glorious day.

We can continue responding to injustices that happen around us every day because of our ultimate hope and peace. Our assurance is in a new heaven that is coming to earth because God is making all things new.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” -Revelation 21:1-5

Nine ways to build community

I've written a few times about how John and I are committed to being part of community here in Atlanta. Today, I want to give you a few practical ways that we've seen community emerge, both from our missional community group at our church, with our neighbors, and with friends in our neighborhood.

We by no means have "community" all figured out. It's been an exciting learning and growing process. Though it takes time to develop relationships with neighbors, with just the short time we've lived in our new home it's already been so rewarding.

We have been so blessed by our neighbors, who have welcomed us into our home by bringing us (delicious) house-warming gifts and intentionally getting to know us. So if anything, this list is mainly what I've learned from them. My hope is that some of these ideas will inspire you to intentionally serve your community and build relationships with neighbors.

• Bake/Cook: One of the easiest icebreakers is food. Upon moving into our new house, we were showered with fresh farmer's market peaches, brownies, and bottles of wine. To keep the relationship going, I baked Rice Crispy treats and delivered them to our surrounding neighbors. The impromptu conversation that happens at the front door is a great way to get to know your neighbors.
• Take up a neighbor's trashcans: One of my least favorite chores is taking the trash out and bringing the trashcans back up. John always takes the trash out, but I'm the one working from home all day, so I try to be good about bringing the trashcans back up from the curb. One afternoon, I saw my neighbor bringing mine up for me - He probably had no idea how much this meant to me! So yesterday when our neighbors were gone all day, I brought his trashcans up. (Correction: I noticed it, and had John bring them up when he got home!)
• Neighborhood potluck: In the past month, we've been invited to 3 potlucks and have been to 2 of them. (We didn't attend one because it was the same time as another.) Although neighborhood potlucks can be kind of awkward, they are worth attending. Why? You not only meet new neighbors and catch up with old ones, which build relationships, but you'll be surprised at some of the connections you make. Case in point, at the last potluck, John met another Wheaton grad. If your neighborhood doesn't have an event like this, I encourage you to organize one!
• Neighborhood movie night: Recently, our church community group organized a movie night for the neighborhood. We borrowed a big screen to set up outside, made lemonade, and had an ice cream truck stop by. It was such a hit - and a great way to unite neighbors after recent school districting disputes - that we're having another one this Fall!
• Sit outside: We have a front porch with rocking chairs, and now that the weather is nice, we love sitting outside. John has weekly breakfast dates with friends out on the porch, and just by being present he's built friendships with neighbors who walk their dogs in the morning.
• Sit at the local bus stop: There is a bus stop across the street from our house, and recently a Marta bus broke down outside. John went to go check on the bus driver, who thought he was coming to yell at him for blocking our driveway. Instead, John brought him Chick-fil-A coupons for a free sandwich and started a conversation with him. Is there a bus stop or local park nearby your house? I encourage you to take the initiative and meet the people who frequent the area.
• Visit the local police station: There is also a police station across the street from us. I intend to bake something and bring it to the police, just as a friendly gesture and way to thank them for their service.  
• Weekly running date with a neighbor: Some of my friends in the neighborhood enjoy running, like I do. So every week I set up a day/time to run with them. It's a perfect combination of keeping in touch and getting fit together.
• Simply remember important things about your neighbors: This is something I am working on. Though it can be the easiest thing to do, it can also make a huge impact. Did a neighbor mention their child's upcoming birthday? Write a quick birthday note. Did a neighbor recently have a baby? Bring over a meal. The list is endless!

What are some creative ideas you have for engaging with your neighbors and building community?

The Significance of a Feast

Food is a central part of culture and community. When I travel, a highlight is always finding local restaurants and experiencing a literal taste of where I am.

Several months ago, John and I watched the movie "Babette's Feast." I'd read the story written by Karen Blixen before, but the movie brought the words to life. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.

The story takes place in 19th-century Denmark and revolves around two elderly, pious Christian sisters Martine and Philippa. Their austere lifestyle begins to breakdown when their cook, Babette, spends all of her lottery winnings on preparing a Parisian meal for the sisters' congregation. At first the congregation refuses to indulge in such a sensual luxury, but gradually the rich, colorful, delicious feast breaks down the guests' hard hearts, resulting in reconciliation and redemption among the congregation.

I love the concept of a community dinner bringing people together, especially since it resulted from Babette's gratitude yet great sacrifice. Perhaps this is an example of a living sacrifice, pouring yourself out for others. We are made to enjoy God's creations, especially in the context of community, and "Babette's Feast" reminds me of the ultimate feast promised in heaven.

Yet what is also intriguing is that the original author of the story, Karen Blixen, suffered extreme health issues when writing this story of a feast, and she eventually died of malnutrition. It's uncertain whether her illness was syphilis as she claimed, and it's now mainly attributed to anorexia. It's somewhat shocking that someone struggling with anorexia could write such a vivid story about the redemptive healing from a feast.

However, I suppose that we can best relate to places in which we struggle. Sometimes the areas where I'm weakest are the ones I have the most perspective in and am able to empathize with others. "For when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Corinth. 12:10).

On a different note, I love how food brings people together. I enjoy setting the table for dinner parties and planning out menus for the week. I've recently been using Hen House Linens napkins.

I love brightly colored table settings- hence my love of Fiestaware!

On Labor Day, my grandmother gave me an entire bagful of place mats, cloth napkins, and tablecloths, so I've been playing around with different place settings, shown below.

Ultimately, I enjoy setting a nice (or colorful!) table because I love having a tableful of friends and neighbors. The community that results from eating a meal together is unparalleled.

Peach Crisp Lessons: Peeling away the layers

Our next door neighbor practically ran toward us as we were getting in the car one evening last week.

"We have some peaches for you! Welcome to the neighborhood!" And he handed us a bagful of fresh peaches from the local Sunday farmers' market.

While John and him chatted about moving in and local happenings, I played peek-a-boo with little Isabella in his arms and smiled at 18-month Theodore on his back.

On the agenda for that weekend: making homemade, fresh, peach crisp. Having never made peach crisp before (and certainly never tried it gluten free), I decided to give it a go.

As I was peeling peach after peach into the sink, I thought about Brother Lawrence joyfully peeling potatoes for God's glory and writing, "The time of work does not with me differ from the time of prayer; and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen... I possess God in as great tranquility as if I were on my knees" (The Practice of the Presence of God).

What layers of me are bruised or tough and need to be exposed? What layers am I using to hide behind? Ironically, we try to appear perfect by covering up with damaged layers. But the process of peeling away the layers and exposing our true selves reveals our tender beauty. Tender: compassionate but vulnerable.

I thought of little Isabella, gleefully playing peek-a-boo. Who, or what, do I play peek-a-boo from, only not so joyfully? It's a scary process becoming tender, and one that often involves a game of peek-a-boo as we test out just how much we can let our true self peek through and still be accepted. It's often easier to hide, but then no one fully knows your inner beauty.  

Peel, peel, peel.

Are we willing to find peace in the work? Do we desire true community enough to risk being fully accepted because we're truly known?

The hard work done, I mixed the topping and put the peach crisp in the oven. The result was a tasty, sugary treat that we devoured with two of our friends in one sitting.

Peach Crisp (Regular and Gluten free version) 

Inspired by Better Homes and Gardens, The New Cookbook

Ingredients:
6 cups sliced, peeled ripe peaches
4 Tbsp. granulated sugar
1/2 cup rolled oats (use gluten free oats, if desired)
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup + 3 Tbsp. all-purpose flour (For gluten free, I used Bob's Red Mill all-purpose baking flour, plus added 1 tsp. xanthan gum)
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 cup butter

Preparation:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl combine peaches and granulated sugar. Transfer to a 1 1/2 to 2 quart square baking dish; set aside.
2. For topping, in a medium bowl combine the oats, brown sugar, flour, and cinnamon. Cut in butter until mixture resembles course crumbs. (I used my hands to mix it.)
3. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until peaches are tender and topping is golden.