Don't let your To Do list define you

As I was reviewing some coaching blogs this morning, I came across a question that I thought would trigger some interesting discussions: "If I gave you an extra hour every day, what would you do with it?"

When I try to answer this question for myself, I get overwhelmed. There is so much I'd want to fit into an extra hour every day. Part of this dilemma is probably attributed to my top strength on StrengthsFinder 2.0 being Achiever. I derive a lot of satisfaction from being busy and productive. This is the double-edged sword of your strengths. 

With an extra hour, I'd see more friends throughout the week, I'd write in my journal every day, I'd experiment with more recipes, I'd brainstorm ideas for a book, I'd go on a date night with John, I'd have our neighbors over for dinner...

All of these things are good and are pursuits that I desire to fit into my schedule in 2014. But I can't possibly fit all this into one hour, or one day for that matter.

This simple question made me pause to consider my response to how I do spend the hours I have during they day. Oftentimes, if I don't accomplish all of the things on my list, I feel like I haven't made progress on my goals. The start to 2014 has felt like a whirlwind, and I've noticed this thinking creeping in. 

After returning from Florida, I needed to get the house in order, organize, put away Christmas decorations, and start making plans for leading my small group, catching up with friends I hadn't seen, and spending time with John. I also wanted to stay on top of my goals, make progress on my business, and intentionally write more. These are all things that I enjoy, but I felt overwhelmed with my growing To Do list. Then the freeze and broken pipe hit, putting everything on pause for most of the week. So this week feels like playing catch up instead of being proactive. 

But then I read this from Holley Gerth: "You can be free from continually pursuing more and yet never feeling like enough." 

And I wanted to encourage you (because I need to give myself this encouragement!) that you - and I - are more than a To Do list. I think it's important to set goals and track your progress, and in fact I wrote a blog post about this today over at Student Launch Pad. But tracking your progress doesn't mean you should be defined by your productivity. Measuring your progress helps you stay on top of your goals that will hopefully lead to a transformed life. But you are not the measure of your progress and shouldn't measure yourself based on how much you accomplish in a given day. Again, I'm writing this more for it to sink into my own soul and to fully remember that you and I are deeply loved. 

Neither accomplishments or lack of accomplishments can add to or subtract from that love.

Today I'm linking up with Holley Gerth's Coffee for Your Heart

Run don't walk: Part II

After last week's post You don't get better at running hills by walking them, I had some readers reach out to me with specific, and very good, questions. I decided to address them in this followup post since hopefully it'll help you apply more perseverance in your life as well.

But first, if you missed it, check out the first post here.

Questions:

1. What is grit?

As I was discussing my thoughts for this followup post with John, he commented that the human struggle has always been one of instant versus delayed gratification. And this is essentially what "grit" comes down to.

Are you able to metaphorically endure the burn as you run up life's hills for the delayed gratification of making it to the top?

According to Angela Duckworth, the foremost researcher in "grit," it involves two qualities:

"(1) The tendency not to abandon tasks from mere changeability. Not seeking something because of novelty. Not 'looking for a change.'  

(2) The tendency not to abandon tasks in the face of obstacles. Perseverance, tenacity, doggedness." 

So grit requires that you understand the big picture goal that you are going for and that you focus on this goal no matter what stands in your way along the way.

Holding on despite the waves

2. Are some people just naturally born with this trait or can you develop grittiness? 

Studies on grit haven't yet proved if this trait can be cultivated or if you're born with it. But I am in the self-development camp and believe you can always grow and stretch yourself. It's about practice. The first time you push yourself will be very uncomfortable, but you must remember that you don't grow unless you're outside of your comfort zone. As this 99U article states:

"Experts tend to operate outside their comfort zone and study themselves failing. This ability to tolerate, and even embrace, uncomfortableness may well be the 'X factor' that underpins outstanding achievement. Self-control, grit, self-analysis... these are not comfortable qualities. But, as renowned performance artist Marina Abramovic... has said: 'Nobody ever changes when they do things they like.'"

3. I am more motivated by rewards than goals. What advice do you have for someone who struggles to get the hard things done first?

First of all, I write about topics that I want to grow and develop in too. So I definitely don't have perseverance or grit all figured out. 

• Understand the link between how the small step you accomplish now is getting you closer to your end result. To persevere through obstacles, you need to articulate what it is you are striving for, write it out, and tell others.  

• Connect what you want to do to why you want to do it. Understanding why something is important ties in the emotional aspect, not just the logical side. (See this post for quick ideas on how to daily remind yourself of the why.) We'll never convince ourselves to do what's hard if it's purely factual. You need to fully feel the importance of what you're trying to do. Why is this an important goal in the first place? Or why is it important for you to keep stretching yourself? 

• Just start. Often it's hard to start doing the hard things because you know how important your end result is to you- whether it's a goal a week from now or five years down the road. Instead of dreading the task you need to complete as step one to your goal, just tackle a piece of it. Once you get going, it will be much easier to continue. 

• Tell someone what you're trying to accomplish. Oftentimes we can't drum up the necessary motivation for ourselves. But if someone else knows what you are trying to accomplish, they can help hold you accountable and keep you motivated by reminding you of the big picture.

Top 7 Highlights and Quotes from Leadercast

Over at the Student Launch Pad blog, I posted about the key takeaways from the speakers at Chick-fil-A Leadercast. Click here (http://studentlaunchpad.com/simply-lead) to read about what Jack Welch, Andy Stanley, Dr. Henry Cloud, David Allen and others had to say about what it means to "simply lead," which was Leadercast's theme.

Here at BeEmbraced, I wanted to give a more personal side of my favorite parts of the conference. Here are my top 7 favorite parts and top 7 quotes of Leadercast (not in any particular order):

1. Since I have my graduate degree in leadership, I am overly enthusiastic and a nerd when it comes to leadership conferences. So just being in attendance and soaking up what the amazing guest speakers (here's the link to the line-up) had to say was a highlight! (Hence all the exclamation points in this post!)

2. Meeting Michael Hyatt! Michael Hyatt was the host of Leadercast this year, and he is the former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, a bestselling author, top-rated blogger, and leadership expert. I have followed his blog for years, so getting to talk to him for about 10 minutes was so exciting for me! He is very personable, easy to talk to, and down-to-earth.

Me with Michael Hyatt

3. The entire conference experience was truly remarkable. Every detail was taken care, and Tripp Crosby was a hilarious emcee. I am still laughing about Tripp's introductory videos to the speakers. For Duke's Coach K, he went to Chapel Hill asking them if they knew where Professor Kryzyzewski's office was - trust me, it was hilarious.

4. Hearing NEEDTOBREATHE perform three of their songs - great performance!

NEEDTOBREATHE

5. I loved John Maxwell's interview with Condoleezza Rice. I was so impressed with her poise and quiet confidence. She discussed tapping into your contemplative side during chaos and taking care of yourself as a leader. I can't wait to read her autobiography, No Higher Honor. 

6. I'm not even a sports fan but hearing Duke University Head Men's Basketball Coach Mike Kryzyzewski was very entertaining. He was very funny - telling us about wanting to ask Beyonce for a picture at an event but that Jay-Z and LeBron were in the way. His insights about leading an Olympic team with players full of egos was also very engaging.

Coach K

7. The awesome leadership lessons that I learned from the speakers were obviously a key reason that I wanted to attend. As I mentioned, the Student Launch Pad post explains in more detail applicable takeaways. Here are my favorite quotes from the day:

"There is extraordinary power and clarity when you reduce down to the one thing that must be done... If you don't know what you're doing, you're going to have a difficult time doing it." -Andy Stanley

"There is an inverse relationship between something being on your mind and getting things done... Start paying attention to what has your attention, otherwise it will take more of your attention than it deserves." -David Allen 

"No matter what you're trying to do there will be noise in the market... Before the race starts, I'm already focused on the victory." -Sanya Richards-Ross

"Desire will not meet goals, it’s what gets prioritized... If everything is important, nothing is important." -Dr. Henry Cloud

"Communicators take something complex and make it simple... Leadership is influence: Add value to people every day; subtract your leadership land mines; multiply your strengths by developing them; divide your weaknesses by delegating them." -John Maxwell

"Don’t focus on winning. Focus on creating a culture of success. The winning will take care of itself." -Coach K

"Be centered (authentic)… be an optimist… be able to motivate others toward a common goal… do what fulfills you." -Condoleezza Rice

"Find out what your boss wants then over-deliver... Make your boss smarter than they were before they met you." -Jack Welch

How to choose a college, major, or career: Part II

In the first post of this series, two decision-making flaws were presented that explain why students often choose the wrong college, select the wrong major, and ultimately end up in the wrong career. According to Dan and Chip Heath in their new book Decisive: How to Make Better Decisions in Life and Work, these two flaws are (1) Making “whether or not” decisions and (2) Trusting your instincts. To learn more about these, read the first post in this series.

The following posts in this series will explain three key techniques to break these bad decisions-making habits and make the best choices for the future.

Technique #1: Widen Your Options

The Heath brothers’ first technique is to break out of “whether or not” thinking and expand your list of options.

• And not Or: Rather than wondering whether or not to pursue a specific major, students should use “and not or” thinking. For example, don’t frame the decision in terms of choosing between a Finance or Marketing major. Turn it into an “and” of Marketing and Finance. This could mean majoring in one and minoring in the other, doing a concentrated study, choosing one as a major but taking advanced classes in the other, or seeking out internships to gain experience in the field outside of your primary major.

When life offers us a ‘this or that’ choice, we should have the gall to ask whether the right answer might be ‘both.’” -Heath brothers

• Understand Needs: Students should understand what it is they are hoping to gain from a major or what they truly want out of a college experience or in a career. Understanding these underlying needs will better inform students on which decisions will meet their needs the best. Programs like Student Launch Pad help students uncover what they truly value and are passionate about. Answering the “why” allows students more objectivity in determining whether a choice will fully meet their criteria. It also leads to creative thinking on how multiple options could be combined to create the best possible decision.

To continue reading for tips on how to widen your options when making a decision, continue onto the Student Launch Pad blog.

How to choose a college, major, or career: Part I

Choosing a college, selecting a major, and deciding on a career path are all key decisions that students must make. Many of the Student Launch Pad students go through the program to gain personal insight into these decisions. Yet making them can be daunting.

Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work by Chip and Dan Heath provides phenomenal tips and case studies on improving the quality of our decision-making. The second post in this series will highlight three of their techniques that are largely applicable to students preparing to make college and career decisions.

Choosing the right college is a big decision.
Pictured: Vanderbilt University

But first, why do so many students make wrong decisions in the first place? The majority of students change majors at least three times, and many transfer colleges after freshman year. Oftentimes after graduates enter the workforce, they realize that they are in the wrong career field. Why is this?

1. “Whether or not” decisions are one of the most common type of decisions that teens make. As teens enter college they are often thinking, “Should I join a sorority or not?” Or, “Should I be a Finance major or not?” The Heath brothers explain that this type of decision making “isn’t a decision among multiple alternatives… it’s simply an up-or-down vote on a single alternative.”

Furthermore, this type of decision fails more often than not because you’re pursing a single option and trying to force it to work, rather than seeing if there’s a better way.

The question a college-bound senior should be asking… is not ‘What’s the highest-ranking college I can convince to take me?’ Rather, it should be ‘What do I want out of life, and what are the best options to get me there?

To continue reading for the second poor decision-making technique that we often employ, click here to continue onto the Student Launch Pad blog.

Pursuing Excellence

I was recently listening to a podcast from Michael Hyatt entitled The 3 Components of Job Satisfaction. In the episode, he says, "If you have all three of these components—passion, competence, and a market—you experience satisfaction." 


So often, I think that we compartmentalize our lives, seeing formal schooling or training as building competence, finding our market in business only, and developing our passion in our free time. In a world where everything is so specialized, it can be easy to lose sight of the whole picture.

But I love this quote from James Michener because it blurs the lines between all aspects of how we live:

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he's always doing both. ”

That one line - "He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does" - is critical to job satisfaction, and it is precisely what we discussed at the One2 Conference last week. 

If you strive to be an excellent learner, you will build competence because you will seek to learn in every situation, both at and outside of work. By building excellent relationships, you will also have a keen understanding of the market and what potential customers or clients need. And as you engage with others around your work and explore new ideas for excellence, your passion will grow. As this blog post from Brazen Careerist says, "Passion is nothing more than curiosity and engagement over time." 

When you pursue excellence, you don’t want to half-heartedly develop new skills or knowledge. You can’t be only partly passionate. And as Michael Hyatt says, you either know your market or you welcome obsoleteness.

So how can you pursue excellence today in one of these three areas – passion, competence, and market?

“My meaning simply is, that whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do well; that whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted myself to completely; that in great aims and in small, I have always been thoroughly in earnest.” –Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

Uniting Work and Faith: One2 Conference

Last Thursday night, Student Launch Pad had the opportunity to be a part of the first annual One2 Conference. A group of students at the University of Georgia put the entire event on as a way to engage their peers in a practical conversation of how to unite faith and work.

The event was orchestrated and run as a professional conference, including guest speakers, a catered dinner and dessert, and conference materials with the One2 branding. 

The conference materials that each attendee received

As the Director of Student Coaching for Student Launch Pad, I was invited to be a table leader, responsible for leading and facilitating discussion with a group of students after the guest speakers.  

About 150 college students attended the conference, with 10 at my table. The students engaged in genuine dialogue about the nature of work and their internal conflicts of wanting to do meaningful work in the education, business, legal, or medical fields.

Austin Burkhart, Founder of One2 Conferences, concluding the evening

The first keynote speaker was Hugh Whelchel, Executive Director of the Institute for Faith, Work, and Economics in Washington, D.C. His passion and expertise are in helping individuals integrate their faith and vocational calling.

Over our catered dinner, the students at the Student Launch Pad table discussed a statistic that Mr. Whelchel mentioned: Baby Boomers’ number one fear is of public speaking, whereas 

Generation Y's number one fear is of leading a meaningless life. 

The students described feeling stuck and unable to make a decision on direction for their lives. Most students at the table had switched their majors 2-3 times, with one changing majors 6 times. All explained their indecisiveness as searching for what would provide the most meaning in their lives.

To continue reading about the conversations from the One2 Conference, please click here for the Student Launch Pad Blog. 

Advice from Alice in Wonderland

Oftentimes before students start the Student Launch Pad program, they have changed their minds multiple times on what they want to do, how they view what they are good at, and where they see themselves in the future.

With these frequent changes of heart, it is easy for students to dismiss the importance of envisioning their future. They think, “Why map out action steps to reach future goals when I might change my mind again?”

This thinking can make students immobilized and not able to decide what action to take. Or, it causes them to be mobilized in the wrong direction because they have not thought through where they actually want to be in the future.

In Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland, the Cheshire Cat and Alice have the following conversation:

Cat: Where are you going?
Alice: Which way should I go?
Cat: That depends on where you are going.
Alice: I don’t know.
Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.

If we were to take the Cat’s advice, as long as we were not sure about our next steps, we would not need to make decisions about where we want our future to go.

However, even if you don’t know which direction you should be headed, it does matter what way you go. There are critical actions you can be taking now as you figure out future plans.

As Alice lets us know, “I could tell you my adventures — beginning from this morning… but it’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” 

Click here to continuing reading on Student Launch Pad's blog for the five key steps to get you started heading in the right direction for your future – even when you’re not sure where you want to end up...

What would you do if you couldn't fail?

During the last week of my Student Launch Pad program, I have my students craft a personal mission statement.

It is always interesting to hear students' response to the question, "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" Many have never been asked this question. A lot of us have been taught from a young age to be practical and follow a prescribed trajectory. When we're freed from these confinements it can be liberating - but also daunting.

So I ask you: What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?

The awesome reality that I have seen in my own life is that I can dream big because I have a God who is big. When we live timidly, it is often because we have a small view of God who doesn't seem quite powerful enough to handle all parts of our life.

Instead, dreaming big requires that I rely on God because yes, I will fail without him working through me. It requires that I listen to him when he says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

And our joy comes from living a life on a mission. We are to be sent into the world on a mission, as Jesus prays to his Father: "Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified" (John 17:17-19). The word mission comes from the word missio, meaning "to send." Where is God sending you? 

We are made holy, purified, and redeemed as we go. 

"The Lord had said to Abram, 'Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.'" (Genesis 12:1-2)

As Tim Keller points out in his sermon "Mission" (the June 23, 2011 podcast), as God tells Abraham that He will bless him, he also immediately says that it is so he may be a blessing to others. And to live into this blessing, Abraham must "go." For Abraham that means leave his country, but in more general terms it means that to be on a mission we must be willing to leave our comfort zone. 

We must make ourselves vulnerable.  

This means entering into relationships with others, it means relying fully on God, it means living life on purpose. And through being sent, we are a blessing to others. 

Jesus tells us, "I say these things... so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them."

Are you living into this joy? 

Awaken Your Child's Potential

I am excited to announce that the e-book I have been working on is now complete and eager to be read!

I wrote Awaken Your Child's Potential: Discovering the best direction for the future for Student Launch Pad. 

It is written for parents and intended to awaken the potential in your son or daughter and watch their gifts come alive. By helping your child discover their best direction for their future, you can launch them on a path where they can live into the potential you see in them.

Awaken Your Child's Potential is a 30 page e-book that includes exercises for determining your child’s strengths, writing a vision statement, and completing a personal development plan. It will help your child answer the questions of “Who am I? What is my purpose? and How do I get there?”

To download your free copy, visit: http://studentlaunchpad.com/free-e-book.

What is your competitive advantage?

Through Student Launch Pad, I love working with students to help them paint a clearer picture of their future and see more clearly where they want to be heading. This week's blog post at Student Launch Pad is about understanding your competitive advantage. Yet whether you are a student or not, the concept is useful for identifying the areas of your life that you need to direct your focus.

In Jim Collins’ Good to Great, he found that a key factor in an organization going from “good to great” was an understanding of and devotion to the one thing that company does better than anyone else.

It’s important for you as a student to apply this same concept of understanding your competitive advantage. What is it that you excel at, exceed expectations in, or surpass your peers in?

Many students say “yes” to every opportunity, whether it fits into their long-term goals or not. The temptation to over-commit can come from a variety of sources, including the desire to be “well-rounded,” to achieve, or from being known as a “go-to” person who will get things done. However, to college admissions or future employers, “well-rounded” can appear as a lack of focus.

As Greg McKeown writes, “If we don’t design our careers, someone else will.” He suggests that the number one career mistake that people make is not being deliberate enough in discerning what responsibilities to take on. Oftentimes many good opportunities distract us from our one great vision of the future. What are you saying “yes” to that is taking away from your competitive advantage?

What are you saying "yes" to that is distracting you from your vision?
What do you need to say "yes" to in order to move toward your vision?

To finish reading this post, continue onto the Student Launch Pad blog by clicking here.

Best Books of 2012: Nonfiction

I've been reading (or at least skimming) over a dozen nonfiction books lately for my newest endeavor of writing a book. Most of these are nonfiction and relate to my area of work in student coaching. Yet, I also enjoy reading nonfiction books for the purpose and intention behind the story. The best nonfiction writers have a burden to share and passion to explore, which is true for this list.

A common theme throughout these three books is the tension behind how we were created and the choices we make. The interplay between our unique make-up and how we choose to use our giftings lends itself to the classic - yet compelling - "nature vs. nurture" debate.

With that in mind, here are my top nonfiction reads this year:

• The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life and Business

This book explains the nature of habits, why they exist in the first place, and how you change bad habits or create positive ones. The stories, examples, and research that author Charles Duhigg draws on span a variety of fields and experiences, making it an engaging and fascinating read... Especially if you're interested in psychology in individuals, business, and society.

"This is the real power of habit: the insight that your habits are what you choose them to be. Once that choice occurs - and becomes authentic - it's not only real, it starts to seem inevitable..."

• Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen

I originally started this book because I am a runner. However, I quickly realized that this book is about ultra-runners and super-athletes who compete in races that are hundreds of miles. (And I thought I was proud of finishing a half-marathon?!) There was not much practical application to my own running journey (unless I decided to embrace the barefoot running phenomenon) besides a few mantras of "Don't fight the trail" and "Think Easy, Light, Smooth, and Fast." Instead, what kept me reading was the compelling story about the Tarahumara Indians who are the best runners in the world. Author Christopher McDougall creatively weaves the biology, research, and anthropology behind running into a culmination of "the greatest race the world has never seen."

"You had to love running, or you wouldn't live to love anything else. And like everything else we love- everything we sentimentally call our "passions" and "desires"- it's really an encoded ancestral necessity. We were born to run; we were born because we run." 

• So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love

Let me start by saying that I do not agree with everything that this book proposes. I believe we were each created with unique passions and that these can play a big role in helping us finding work we love. However, this book was a refreshing read precisely because of its different perspective. It also raises some critical points about the necessity of cultivating skills and having a craftsmen mindset, which focuses on the strengths you have to offer. It also discuss building career capital, which is critical for advancing in any field. Therefore, this book made my top books of 2012 list because I believe it's an important read for my generation who is apt to give up when work is hard, rather than persevere and succeed in small but significant ways. 

"Missions are powerful because they focus your energy toward a useful goal, and this in turn maximizes your impact on your world - a crucial factor in loving what you do."

Student Launch Pad: Preparing to launch!

I am passionate about coaching individuals and groups to their highest potential. I love witnessing someone discover how they are uniquely gifted and finding ways to integrate those strengths into their work and life. BeEmbraced is all about being embraced by the journey, and my current adventure is with Student Launch Pad!

I noticed that a lot of students were wasting valuable time and tuition dollars pursuing mismatched majors and careers in college. 53% of college students change majors 2 to 3 times, contributing to the over 50% of students who are taking longer than 6 years to graduate. Each additional year it takes to graduate will cost on average another $19,171 of tuition money, depending on whether it is a private or public university.

I want to reverse this trend and teach students how to apply their strengths and find their “sweet spot.” What if students knew how their unique combination of strengths, passions, values, and personality fit into a major or career?

Too many adults started down a career path that wasn't a good fit to begin with and now feel stuck. Instead, I believe that you can balance your passions with the practicality of making a living. In fact, your strengths, passions, and values all work together for success. 

I would love your support and for you to follow us on Twitter @StdntLaunchPad and like us on Facebook at facebook.com/studentlaunchpad. Or check out our website. Thank you to everyone for the encouragement you've already provided and your ongoing support!