The holidays in 13 pictures

Before I write about my dreams for 2014, I want to reflect on the blessings of this holiday season. I spent 12 days in Florida (hence being MIA from this blog) and think it's always important to pause and be thankful before diving ahead into the new year.

Our Christmas season started off better than last year's because we went straight to Lowe's for our Christmas tree instead of risking getting another "Devil Tree." (If you don't know what I'm referring to, then you can read about last year's debacle here.) We also had a fun White Elephant party with the funniest gift award going to our friend Will, who blew up photos of John's and my faces from 9th grade Homecoming and put them on ornaments. A close second was a life-size knight made of tin... it was a fun night!  

Before our White Elephant party, posing in front of our tree that is still standing: success!

Laura, me, Caitlin, and Amy  

The funniest gift

When John and I headed home, our time in Orlando was filled with family and friends, including many annual traditions such as candy making with Grandma Shack, a Shackelford family/friend reunion complete with an intense volleyball match, singing Christmas carols with Dad playing the piano, and riding in the truck bed to see the lights on Christmas Eve. 

Candy making with Amy and Claire

Post candy making with Grandma Shack

Bundled up before the truck ride

In addition to these traditions, we also had an incredibly fun night celebrating my 25th birthday (early) with a lot of high school friends. It was wonderful that so many friends were in town and that our families could be a part of the celebration too! The next day, I took Mom to the Orlando Ballet Nutcracker for her Christmas gift, and we enjoyed a nice dinner beforehand.

With John and Emma before my birthday dinner

A wonderful reunion of old friends

So blessed to have amazing parents and in-laws!

At dinner with Mom before the Nutcracker

Then on Christmas, John gave me an incredibly thoughtful gift. He commissioned my friend Becca to paint my poem Gathering Hope on a canvas. She's been working on it since October and I had no idea! Plus it's beautiful and I can't wait to hang it in our home. 

The day after Christmas John headed back to Atlanta for his work with the Chick-fil-A Bowl. Since he's always so busy that week, I stayed in Orlando and caught up with more friends. Aysha and Alex drove from Tampa for a short visit and it was great to catch up on the boat like past college times! My mom and I also had a wonderful brunch with Kim, Isha, and their mom's and again it was just like old times and so fun to catch up on everyone's adventures post-college.

Sophomore year of college to now: Aysha, me, and Alex

Senior year of high school to now: me, Kim, and Isha

After brunch with Isha and Kim, Mom and I picked up Dad and headed to celebrate my grandfather's 80th birthday. Despite having a bad cold, it was great to spend time with several family members. From lunch, Mom, Dad, and I drove to Vero Beach where we spent the night and next day before boarding Dad's new boat Rhythm 'n Blues. The weather wasn't sunshiney Florida, but I enjoyed sleeping, recovering from my cold, and finishing my third book since being back in Florida.

On the 31st we took the boat to West Palm Beach for an (almost) annual tradition of watching the fireworks. Watching the fireworks from the water gives us a front row view which didn't disappoint! And while trying to stay awake to midnight, we of course watched the Chick-fil-A Bowl. On the 1st I flew back home to Atlanta where John picked me up and took me out for a nice New Year's Day brunch... a wonderful way to kick off 2014!

Fireworks from the waters of Palm Beach

Daily Labyrinths

Growing up, the summer days seemed to linger longer. My best friend Alex and I would spend weeks out of the summer at my grandmother's beach house for "Camp Nana," and we would often pause from collecting shells, biking to ice cream, and swimming in the sea to walk the labyrinth at the local church.

Somehow in the midst of soaking in the sun, we appreciated the stillness and inner solitude that walking the labyrinth welcomed.

Despite how the word "labyrinth" is often used, it actually is not designed as a maze, which has choices and complex paths. Instead a labyrinth has only a single, non-branching path that leads to the center. It is designed to be meditative not challenging.

Revisiting the labyrinth I used to walk during John's and my trip to St. Pete

Alex and I would often walk the labyrinth before or after watching the sunset over the Gulf. I'd contemplate the day and pray as I walked its course.

Blast from the past:
Alex and I visiting Aruba with my family the summer before starting high school

It amazes me that as children we appreciated the time for reflection even when there were dozens of other beach activities that could have taken our attention. How much more should I be craving this time as an adult?

A couple weekends ago, when John and I visited his parents in North Carolina, I had a similar experience to walking a labyrinth during our long hikes. Hiking always slows down time and helps me think, and there's nothing like looking out miles beyond you when you reach the mountaintop.

Hiking in Tullulah Gorge, GA and Cashiers, NC

This got me thinking to how I could recreate this experience in daily life. How can I intentionally spend time reenergizing my soul?

My challenge today is to pause and consider "labyrinths" in your life that allow space for solitude and meditation.

Dinner with the Shack's in NC

How to keep a calendar when you're married

The tradition is to save the top of your wedding cake in the freezer and then celebrate your one-year with a (hopefully un-freezer burnt) slice. Well... almost two years later, John and I finally cut into the cake at the beach over the 4th of July. The top of our cake has been taking up a lot of space in my parents' freezer, so I think they were more than ready for us to finally finish it off!

It looked less than promising...

...especially after knowing what it looked like on our wedding day.

We were nervous to give it a try, but it was surprisingly still tasty!

Not quite as elegant as at our wedding!

Thankfully, as John said: Our marriage has held up a lot better than the cake did!

Recently, one of the things that we've been doing to keep our marriage strong is changing the way that we keep our calendar.

Although schedules are less than romantic, keeping our calendar in a new way has allowed us to keep our marriage adventurous. We are both "J" on Myers-Briggs (i.e. like to plan and schedule a lot), which meant that when we were first married we were setting plans over a month in advance.

Planning so far ahead, however, prevented us from accepting a lot of invitations and hanging out with friends on a whim.

But what really got our attention is when John was sick the first few months of this year. His illness prevented us from keeping a lot of our plans, so when he was well, we found our weeks slammed with one rescheduled commitment after another. This left not a whole lot of downtime or time for date nights.

And as someone who needs a little time alone in order to recharge, I was exhausted.

So we regrouped and came up with a way we could keep our calendar that still allowed us to plan ahead while protecting our down time. Here's our method:

• At the beginning of each month, we sync up our calendars to make sure we're both aware of big events or other happenings that we are scheduled to attend that month (either together or separately).
• Then we go week by week and schedule our nights according to three categories: (1) Night of rest (i.e. time alone together or a date night), (2) Outreach night (time with our neighbors, church community group, new people we want to reach out to, etc.), and (3) Friend night (time with our friends)
• We don't have to set who we'll invite over or what we want to plan, we just ensure that each week has at least each of those categories per week. 
• Then when someone invites us somewhere or we want to have someone over for dinner, we can use our scheduled night for that category.
• We're also not rigid about it, so as long as we have one of those each category per week, we can switch nights around accordingly.

This practice has been helpful for us, so I thought I'd share it in case others could benefit from how to schedule yet still be flexible. Let me know if you have questions and happy planning!

Summer Shindigs

I haven't updated BeEmbraced for a while because the long summer days always seems to fill up quickly! Here are some of the highlights from the past couple of weeks:

Baby Shower Fun
I joined in with some of my friends to throw my friend Annie and her husband Eric a baby shower! The weather was gorgeous and perfect for the outside BaBy-Q!

The hostesses with the Mama-to-be: Meredith, me, Annie, Kelley, and Jill 

Since I'm not the crafty one, I stuck to helping make some of the food and set-up/clean-up.

The entrance to the backyard BaBy-Q

John and I also read Annie and Eric some questions about parenting, and they had to guess which one of them it applied to - without looking at each other's answer! For instance, "Who's most likely to cry on her first day of preschool?" or "Who's most likely to give her second helpings of dessert?"

John and I laughing at the answers!

Surprise Half Birthday
Yes, you read that right! John surprised me for my half birthday since it's always hard for us to celebrate on the real date of December 28th. A bunch of our friends came over for game night, but little did I know that my friends Becca and Anna had brought over gluten/dairy free desserts for everyone in order to celebrate me! As an added bonus, I beat John in a "sudden death" match to lead the girls' team to victory during our game night :)

Some of the girls at game night!

Beach Visit #1
On our way to spend the week of July 4th with my parents at the beach, we made a well worth it detour to visit my Nana in St. Pete. I spent a lot of summers at her house in Pass-a-Grille, and I was so excited to share some old memories with John! Nana and I cooked a meal together, and then we all headed down to enjoy the sunset.

Nana and I enjoying the sunset

The next day, John and I biked all around the island, stopping at all of the places I used to go to growing up. We spent some time at the beach before heading to lunch with Nana at the Don CeSar and stopping by Uncle Andy's for ice cream afterward!

John's monster ice cream cone

Beach Visit #2 
From there we headed across Florida's coast to Vero Beach, where we spent the week with my family enjoying the surf and sand. Lots of reading, relaxing, great food, and game nights! For the 4th, John put on a big firework display (it's become a yearly tradition) that we all enjoyed!

Stay tuned for more updates from this summer...

What the Shack's are up to lately

Last week I was in Orlando, working on an exciting new project for Student Launch Pad to develop an online platform for my curriculum. It was a change for me to be the one traveling instead of John!

After working long hours and having meetings, I got to enjoy time with my parents, including delicious meals that my Dad made, like this one:

I love learning cooking techniques from him! 

Dad (wearing my apron!) and I cooking together last time he visited

My flight was delayed coming home Thursday night because of bad storms in the Atlanta area. Like the last time when John and I flew home from Chicago, I boarded the plane, we were ready to go, and then had to get off the plane and wait several hours. I'm glad we waited though, because this is the picture of Atlanta's sky that my friend Heather sent me:

While I waited, I wanted to enjoy my dinner (as much as you can enjoy airport food). One small problem: as soon as I sat down to eat, everyone around me started watching a mouse that was running around our seats! That definitely took my appetite away. As I was gathering my belongings to change seats, the man next to me started laughing that I would move because of a mouse. Yes I would!

After finally returning home, I was able to meet up with Heather (remember this girl's wedding?!) for breakfast before she left from her business trip. I always love reconnecting with friends in person!

On Saturday, John and I had our weekly coffee date (a part of us keeping our marriage adventurous) at a new place for us: Revolution Doughnuts! The donuts here were amazing, including a nutella cream filled one and a caramel donut topped with bacon. I opted for their gluten free almond, chocolate, and coconut one, which was delicious!

That afternoon, we "braved" the heat at the Braves game. We took the seventeen-year-old son of the family that John lived with during his internship in Atlanta, and it was a great afternoon and evening spending time with him. By baseball standards, the game was even exciting for me to watch as the Braves took the win in the last inning!

On Sunday we met up with friends to play tennis, and on Monday night we had friends over for dinner. A full and wonderful weekend!

There is a firmer foundation than answers to my "why's"

My friends know that I am not a so-called "animal lover." But when my Mom called to let me know that Callie, my 16 year old calico who I got as an Easter gift in second grade, had to be put to sleep I was upset and sad.

2013 has been a difficult year. From my husband's sickness to my own illness, from a grandfather battling cancer to my other grandfather passing away, from family friends struggling through trying times to our country mourning many disasters and losses this year, my cat having to be put down was another trial to add to the list.

Yet while this post could easily become a litany of grief and hardships, this one thought has been circling my mind. On my run yesterday (first of all, I'm just thankful that I can run again), I kept thinking:

We have a God who lets us cry. He not only allows us to cry, but we also worship a God who desires for us to cry out to Him. "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18).

I am realizing that I don't have to have my act together. I can come to God with questions. I can show up for my church small group and not have answers to "What is my role as a wife to a sick husband? What is my role as a daughter during trying and tiring experiences for my family?"

Beautiful Chicago, a reminder of many blessings

I can ask, "Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?" (Psalm 42:5) Because even if I don't understand, I have a firmer foundation than answers to my "whys."

"Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." (Psalm 42:11). 

I have hope because I have a promise: "The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold" (Psalm 18:2). Now that is a litany I want to repeat. Strong words of "rock, fortress, shield, stronghold." This is my hope and promised salvation: a Deliverer. This is my joy.

And that is why I continue counting my blessings in my gratitude journal. Numerous blessings like family visiting, a friend's wedding in Chicago, beauty in nature, a friend's birthday, the list continues...

Celebrating Becca's birthday

Before the wedding in Chicago 

My sister-in-law Emma and I visiting the CNN Center

As I count my blessings, my joy increases and I can cry out in sadness and in praise.

I had to include this adorable picture of sweet Callie

Living for a new day

With the Boston Marathon bombing yesterday and my grandfather's funeral today, I thought it only appropriate to reflect on the grief and confusion that we feel in this world.

Events like the Boston Marathon bring to the forefront the brokenness that we live in and call us to respond. We see neighbors or fellow citizens taking action and putting aside personal needs to generously give their support.

When sad or shocking things happen, we cry because we know the world is not meant to be this way. Yet we respond because we hope.

We hope in community. We hope in restoration. We have an Ultimate Hope.

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven"
Matthew 6:10

When we face hardships in life, it's easy to be anxious about the "whys" and "what ifs."

In a recent Tim Keller sermon, he defines "anxiety" as the Greek word meaning "drawn in opposite directions, divided into parts, to go to pieces because pulled apart in different directions." This is the word that Jesus uses to describe Martha when she is busying herself around the house: "You are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary"  (Luke 10:38-42).

Rather than being distracted and pulled in all different directions, our peace and hope should have a sole focus: "one thing is necessary." Our one hope and supreme peace should be focused on God. 

We are able to live in the present, and practice presence, because we have a singular look at the future.

We are living for a new and glorious day.

We can continue responding to injustices that happen around us every day because of our ultimate hope and peace. Our assurance is in a new heaven that is coming to earth because God is making all things new.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” -Revelation 21:1-5

How to Fit Adventure into Your Marriage

Early this Fall, I wrote about "How to Keep Your Marriage Adventurous," and it's been one of the most viewed posts on BeEmbraced. Since it seems to be a topic that is important to many people, here's a way that John and I have recently started to fit adventure into our marriage.

After the holidays and all of our travels (and I still have one more trip to write about!), John and I have been trying to get back into a routine. While that word sounds boring even just typing it, routine can actually help facilitate your sense of adventure in the new year.

This past week, John and I set goals for 2013, and one of our first ones was to have a planning meeting the first weekend of every month. Sounds dull for a marriage goal. However, the motivation behind a goal is the purpose of setting it in the first place. So why the planning? Because in addition to wanting to have fire pit nights with neighbors, game nights with friends, and other get-togethers, date nights are a top priority.

An afternoon in the park is always a great date idea

Our goals for dates are:

• Have a date night (or afternoon) outside of the house at least once every three weeks
• Have a date night inside the house at least once every two weeks
• Go on a walk together at least once a week

One of the new goals that we incorporated this year was to have date nights inside the house. Although we have dinner at home with each other most nights of the week, it's fun to plan some adventure into the evenings. Movie nights are great, but this year we wanted to get creative with our dates.

A date night last year: Watching the Gwinnett Gladiators (and the ice was pink for Breast Cancer Awareness)!

For example, on Monday night we had a fancy dinner at home together. The past week had been busy with John traveling, me having my first book club meeting, John playing basketball, and us having friends over Saturday and Sunday nights. With both of us off of work for MLK Day, we decided to have a date night - without leaving the house. We made a nice dinner of grilled fish, roasted acorn squash with brown sugar, red lentils, salad, and complete with red wine. We dressed up in nice clothes, turned on the Frank Sinatra Pandora station, use our china plates and crystal glasses, and John brought home flowers for our table. And afterwards, to keep in the evening's theme, we caught up on Downton Abbey of course!

Our dinner date, using our nice china and crystal! 

What made this date night even more enjoyable was that we planned it in advance, allowing me to look forward to it all week. It also made it no hassle, knowing I could plan for the dinner when I went grocery shopping a few days before.

So there you have it: how planning can actually add adventure into your marriage. Otherwise, life seems to fly by without scheduling how you can incorporate fun date nights with your spouse.

What about you - what fun at-home dates have you had? Do you plan on setting goals with your spouse this year?

Travel Journal 1: Orlando

It seems so long ago to be writing about what John and I did over Christmas, but for all those who are curious here is a quick snapshot of our wonderful time in Orlando!

We saw lots of friends and family during our week in Orlando, so here are just a few highlights:

• Being surprised by John with a nice dinner for an early birthday celebration ...Definitely didn't see that coming, and I was surprised to see my best friend, parents, and in-laws at a table with balloons ready for the celebration!

• Making candy (including pull candy, peanut butter balls, and fudge) for the first time with John's grandma and then watching the Simpson's Christmas movie with the family, also for the first time... I can't believe I'd never seen this before!

• Enjoying an extravagant dinner homemade by Dad with his side of the family. Along with including several courses, such as truffle-infused risotto and calamari salad, we also had a wine pairing to go with each course. And the conversation with family was also wonderful! 

• Watching Mom get in a tractor bed after being "peer pressured" by her sisters! I won't show the entire video here, but suffice it to say that it's hilarious.

• Reunion with our high school graduation class. After not seeing a lot of our former classmates for 5 years, John and I really enjoyed catching up with everyone at a local pub. 

• Having my best friend, Alex, join in on almost all of our family get-togethers! 

And a few other notable memories:

• The annual ride in the truck bed to look at Christmas lights on Christmas Eve with John's family
• Playing volleyball with John's side of the family
• White elephant gift exchange
• Fire pits
• Watching a Christmas movie with my sisters-in-law... and laughing about its cheesiness
• Mani-pedi with Mom
• Hanging out with my lifelong friend, Isha, at a vegan, gluten-free restaurant - great food and great company!

Fresh Start

BeEmbraced is back and ready for a fresh start! I haven't blogged in a while because I have been out of town for almost three straight weeks traveling. Travel stories and pictures will be on the blog soon, updating you on Christmas in Orlando, a wedding/New Years in DC, and a family ski trip in Tahoe!

Since Christmas decorations are still up and there is a lot of laundry to be done and emails to catch up on, I'll keep this post short.

I have always liked January because it forces you to be intentional and look ahead to the new year. My fresh start to 2013 focuses on spirit, mind, and body. Rather than setting resolutions (we've all heard the statistics that only 8% of people keep them!), I plan to take small but powerful actions in each of these three key areas.

Spirit: I am currently going through the She Reads Truth Fresh Start study, which gave me the idea for seeking fresh starts in important areas of my life. The clincher so far? Hearing Moses' confident words as the Israelites flee for their lives from the Egyptians: "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." 

You only have to be silent. I will be reflecting on how I need to still my heart and let God fight my battles.

Body: Last year at this time, I did a week of clean eating to set healthy habits in 2012. This year, you can expect more healthy, clean recipes that feature a lot of veggies. I love the sweetness of fruit, but I want to be intentional about creatively incorporating more vegetables into our meals. I'm a little tired of steamed broccoli as our green veggie, so expect more kale recipes and exciting experiments with swiss chard and the like! John and I will continue eating vegetarian once a week - and I'd like to up this to twice a week... we'll see how it goes!

I have also signed up for the Country Music Half Marathon in Nashville, which I ran two years ago. Several of my friends in Atlanta signed up too, so it'll be a fun girls weekend in April! It'll also be a great way to stay in shape and catch up as we train together.

Mind: As I've mentioned in a recent post, I joined a book club. The books we have selected for the first three months are already in different genres than I typically read. Even if I don't love all of the books, I am going to finish them in an effort to learn something new. I also intend to be more current on the news, and I know reading the paper on my new iPad (a big, surprise Christmas gift from my hubby!) will help this cause.


Any thoughts on these "fresh starts" areas? Any tips to help me in these efforts? Did you set goals for yourself? Feel free to share! 

Best Books of 2012: Gift-Giving

As my last installment of the best books of 2012 series, I want to recommend my top choices for books that make excellent gifts.

My primary choice is One Thousand Gifts, as I already talked about on the first day of this series. If you visit the website, there are also a lot of other great gift ideas to accompany the book, such as a devotional journal and book of photographs.

My remaining picks are divided according to who the gift is for:

• For your mom, or a best girl friend:

She Walks in Beauty: A Woman's Journey Through Poems

I received this book as a gift myself (after hinting that I wanted it last year!) and think it makes a thoughtful gift. Caroline Kennedy selected each poem and arranges them according to topic. She introduces each section with personal reflections connected to the poems' themes on the topic. Her selections are excellent and range from the Romantic poets to those of modern day.

"Poems distill our deepest emotions into a very few words - words that we can remember, carry with us, and share with others as we talk and weave the cloth of life."

• For the aspiring author, or anyone who appreciates memoirs:

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions of Writing and Life

Author Anne Lamott is simply hilarious. As she describes her writing process and publishing books, she brilliantly weaves in funny personal stories. For any aspiring novelist this is a great read for a famous writer's perspective on the deliberate and frustrating - yet freeing and rewarding - process known as writing.

"You don't have to see where you're going, you don't have to see your destination or everything you will pass along the way. You just have to see two or three feet ahead of you. This is right up there with the best advice about writing, or life, I have ever heard."

• For the social advocate: 

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide

This national bestseller is a moving account of oppression around the globe. Journalist Nicholas Kristof and his wife, Sheryl WuDunn, discuss how to fight global poverty with touching, sad, and inspirational stories of women worldwide. Among the shocking accounts that Kristof and WuDunn have witnessed are also stories of hope and practical tips on how each one of us can turn oppression into opportunity.

"Helping people is difficult and unpredictable, and our interventions don't always work, but successes are possible, and these victories are incredibly important... We may not succeed in educating all the girls in poor countries, or in preventing all the women from dying in childbirth, or in saving all the girls who are imprisoned in brothels. But we... remember a Hawaiian parable...

A man goes out on the beach and sees that it is covered with starfish that have washed up in the tide. A little boy is walking along, picking them up and throwing them back into the water. 'What are you doing, son?' the man asks. 'You see how many starfish there are? You'll never make a difference.' The boy paused thoughtfully, and picked up another starfish and threw it into the ocean. 'It sure made a difference to that one, he said."

• For your dad:

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

Since this book made my top nonfiction pick, I won't summarize it again here. But this book is an interesting read that any business person would enjoy for understanding the choices we make at large and individually.

• For the athlete:

Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen

This is another book from my nonfiction favorites, but it would be a great gift for any athlete, especially runners. The incredible training and races that these superathletes put themselves through is inspiring to read about.