Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Lessons from the first 6 months of marriage

On Sunday, John and I will have been married for 6 months, so I thought it would be appropriate to reflect a bit on the start to our marriage.

But first of all, big news: John and I are buying a house! It's in our same neighborhood in east Atlanta- Grant Park- and only a few blocks away from the apartment we are in now. We love this area and are thrilled to settle here permanently.

The house was originally built in 1910, and now it is being renovated from top to bottom. John and I came across it at the perfect time to make all of the decorative selections - granite, tile, paint colors, cabinets, etc. - so it's been a lot of fun.

What does this have to do with marriage?

While walking through the house (see pictures below- you need a lot of vision to see a finished product!) it struck me how similar the bare walls are to my heart.

Before marriage, I felt all put together (most of the time!) and metaphorically painted and decorated.

But, like our house now, I'm beginning to see what my foundation is like underneath the "decor." For instance, when the builders started ripping down the old walls, they discovered that the house had had a fire decades ago. Some areas should not have even been built on top of, and it's amazing the ceiling held.

That's like my heart- I'm uncovering charred areas that I didn't know existed. Weak spots that are beginning to crumble. A lot of people have asked me, "What have you learned most about John since marriage?" And honestly, I've learned a lot more about myself.

And that's not meant to sound selfish. Though ironically what I'm learning is how natural it is to first think of myself and my own needs instead of putting John first. In seeing insecurities in myself, I'm being stripped down to the studs, like our house.

But the beautiful part is that in marriage I am being rebuilt. John and I can solidify our shaky foundations together. In faith, we can start putting up new walls of a servant heart.

And that is why, though I see a lot of imperfections in myself as a wife, I am not discouraged. Instead, John and I are building a new life together. And the first six months have been focused on drawing the blueprints to ensure that the foundation of our faith is solid enough to build up a marriage.

Like designing our "new" house, the process of discovering who we are as a new family has been so exciting.


  1. Good stuff, Stephanie! and congrats on the house! I look forward to starting to learn the tough stuff about myself soon as Kristen and I are just 4 months away from marriage... thanks for the post :)

  2. Thanks so much Spencer! Marriage is a blast- you'll love it! Congrats to you and Kristen... the wedding is getting so close :)